try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
