fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
