they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just google imaged poop.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
