if you like me you must not know who I am
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
