Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize