google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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