please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
