Buhtt sex?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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