my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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