After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
