i already hear my dad disowning me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
