We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
