The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was like eating out sand paper
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
