Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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