i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
