just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
