I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize