So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
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I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
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You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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