singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
