Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
