We got so high we made milksteak
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
