Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
