Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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