he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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