it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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