At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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