We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
