I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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