oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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