Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
