My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize