sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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