she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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