accomplished twins. life is a go
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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