she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
