he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
