Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
