He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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