I didn't shave. On purpose
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
