just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
