The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
