Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Randomize
