do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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