Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
