Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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