Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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