Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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