The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
