She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
