no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
