I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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