Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
