I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
