How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
