dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
