My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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