why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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