there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He shit in the fireplace
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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