i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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